EPIC <3

WOW. I drunkenly TIVO-ed an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache. -Sabrina

Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70's. -Lexi

Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?- Brooke

We sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. He actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open. -Sabrina

We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award.- Tyler

I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.- Brooke

You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.- Alex


Rachael, I don't have fun when you have fun. I have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.- Brooke

I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.- Billy

Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.- Reggie

I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe- Kristen

Just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. I said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. How jealous are you?- Aunt Nancy