Ola- I have a headache. Zanny, do you have some aspirin?
Zanny- No, go ask the nurse.
Lucas- The nurse won't give you aspirin.
Zanny- Yes she will.
Ola- With a phone call home, yes. Zanny would know. She gets her to give her food. FOOD.
Zanny- I picked the curtains out in that office...
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Monday, November 9, 2009
Facebook Survey
What would you do if you had never met her ?
I would have a significantly less amusing life. There's nothing like announcing your next class like a cavalry charge and storming off, finger pointing forward, as 3 other people follow suit in the busy area that is the bottom of the BC staircase just after period four...
How did you meet her?
I met her approxamitely 2 1/2 years ago whilst sitting across the table from her at the McCormack's one frigid November evening. She had partially orange hair and we were eating lasagna.
If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
14 would be a gay, interfamilial relationship and Steff is my ever so ambiguous friend so I don't know what decision I would make. I think I would refrain from making a decision because, besides that, Steff and I are naught but friends.
I would have a significantly less amusing life. There's nothing like announcing your next class like a cavalry charge and storming off, finger pointing forward, as 3 other people follow suit in the busy area that is the bottom of the BC staircase just after period four...
How did you meet her?
I met her approxamitely 2 1/2 years ago whilst sitting across the table from her at the McCormack's one frigid November evening. She had partially orange hair and we were eating lasagna.
If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
14 would be a gay, interfamilial relationship and Steff is my ever so ambiguous friend so I don't know what decision I would make. I think I would refrain from making a decision because, besides that, Steff and I are naught but friends.
Hollywood Squares
These great questions & answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Lonelyness!
And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth..
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Lonelyness!
And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth..
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
Quotes
Child pornography on 4chan? You're disgusting! What? I said that? -Tyler
I'll tell you what I have learned: don't film shit in Whole Foods- they'll kick yo' ass out! -Ben
What is this compulsion to have people over to your house and serve them food and talk to them? -Larry David
Murder? It's not murder if it's an accident. My Teddy could never murder. What? What's that? Helped him rape what? He's done more for the US senate than any other man! -Harold
Welcome to the fight night of the century...bring yo popcorn, your boo, and a whole lot of Sprite....this is shaping up to be a good one...the one question: will there be a lead change? And if so, will the champ bring back the purple dotted robe into mainstream fashion, or forever into oblivion? -Brent
I'll tell you what I have learned: don't film shit in Whole Foods- they'll kick yo' ass out! -Ben
What is this compulsion to have people over to your house and serve them food and talk to them? -Larry David
Murder? It's not murder if it's an accident. My Teddy could never murder. What? What's that? Helped him rape what? He's done more for the US senate than any other man! -Harold
Welcome to the fight night of the century...bring yo popcorn, your boo, and a whole lot of Sprite....this is shaping up to be a good one...the one question: will there be a lead change? And if so, will the champ bring back the purple dotted robe into mainstream fashion, or forever into oblivion? -Brent
S'more Quotes
"I wasted my time reading it backwards"
-Neil
"Three shots in the mouth, and you'll have a bad taste in your mouth for a week"
-Mr. Brooks
"DC was fun, if you like long bus rides, stopping to see a monument, more long bus rides, Best Western hotel (like one star, and making scrap books you'd like it"
-Neil
"I thought an abortion is when they let the baby be born and then they stab it with a giant needle..."
-Neil
"Those Mexican jumping lessons are sure paying off"
Sporadically appearing over the fence, swearing and talking about how much he hates us.
-Neil
"Three shots in the mouth, and you'll have a bad taste in your mouth for a week"
-Mr. Brooks
"DC was fun, if you like long bus rides, stopping to see a monument, more long bus rides, Best Western hotel (like one star, and making scrap books you'd like it"
-Neil
"I thought an abortion is when they let the baby be born and then they stab it with a giant needle..."
-Neil
"Those Mexican jumping lessons are sure paying off"
Sporadically appearing over the fence, swearing and talking about how much he hates us.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Benefit of the Doubt
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My brother is a Facebook fan of two things: God, and Rihanna. If he's not a prime example of the rare "Baptist closeted gay," I don't know who is.
You saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It is virtually impossible to listen to "Single Ladies"and perform any seated task.
My brother is a Facebook fan of two things: God, and Rihanna. If he's not a prime example of the rare "Baptist closeted gay," I don't know who is.
You saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It is virtually impossible to listen to "Single Ladies"and perform any seated task.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Susan
Me: Razvan, what is your honest opinion of *Hadil?
Razvan: Susan is extremely... nosey. No pun.
* Freshman who sits at our lunch table for no reason at all. She has a large nose.
Razvan: Susan is extremely... nosey. No pun.
* Freshman who sits at our lunch table for no reason at all. She has a large nose.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Epic Jack Quote
I can only express my emotions and feelings through my music, I am one with my guitar and I hope to one day make it cry and laugh and scream and dance when i feel the same way. My music opens the hidden doors of my mind and explores them sending new ideas and impulses through my veins to my hands to my guitar to the world, to share, to love, to live, I hide behind my music and attack with my music, I am my music and my music is me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Big Italian Mobster
Quotes from my giant italian mobster friend.
I'm done with the fakeness, it makes me wanna break shit.
I ain't gonna lie I don't have a six pack I have a bad temper and a baseball bat.
I will slap you with a beef patty
A hungry dog does not fear the stick
I'm done with the fakeness, it makes me wanna break shit.
I ain't gonna lie I don't have a six pack I have a bad temper and a baseball bat.
I will slap you with a beef patty
A hungry dog does not fear the stick
Lobster Shells
There are a ton.
That time I came up with the ingenius idea of having a soap party at her house. Suds EVERYWHERE. Her whole kitchen was full of soap bubbles, it was amazing.
Eating chili on the fireplace. That was great. Our original idea was to go hang out at my apartment, but we ended up sitting on Delaney's fireplace eating tubs of homeade chili.
"Well I won't be home"
"We know your garage code, we'll steal all your food."
You guys scare me. Bt now we are ADT protected, so the alarm will go off. A.K.A. Brooke-Proof. -Delaney
ADT? Pshhh. Nothing in this world is Brooke Proof. Except lobster shells. But only lobster shells though.
That time I came up with the ingenius idea of having a soap party at her house. Suds EVERYWHERE. Her whole kitchen was full of soap bubbles, it was amazing.
Eating chili on the fireplace. That was great. Our original idea was to go hang out at my apartment, but we ended up sitting on Delaney's fireplace eating tubs of homeade chili.
"Well I won't be home"
"We know your garage code, we'll steal all your food."
You guys scare me. Bt now we are ADT protected, so the alarm will go off. A.K.A. Brooke-Proof. -Delaney
ADT? Pshhh. Nothing in this world is Brooke Proof. Except lobster shells. But only lobster shells though.
Razvan=My Life
I just got an e-mail from Razvan saying "Your name is Brooke Peterson and mine isn't." My life is complete.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Drunk Quotes (we all have them)
Beer does different things to different people. These are some ANONYMOUS quotes from friends of mine who have gotten... ummm... intoxicated... "cough" shit faced "cough" and said some pretty amazing things.
"I want my FUCKING Dunkaroos!!"
"NO, NO, I wanna be Dora the Explorer. Guys, stop snickering, I'm not fucking kidding you! I'm gonna change my name to Dora and explore shit! COME EXPLORE SHIT WITH ME!!"
"Let's go on a venture. Ages 14-20!!! It's sponsored by the goddamn BOY SCOUTS! How kick ASS is that!?"
"You know what would be funny? Actually, nevermind."
"No, now you need to tell me!"
"But... I realized it wouldn't be very funny at all..."
"What was it?"
"I was gonna say Wouldn't it be funny if one of my teachers tried to sleep with me... but then i realized that wasnt funny at all."
"You're right. That wasnt funny. Not even a little."
"Lemonade on a spoon is a popsicle, right?"
"Oh, you son of a bitch!! GO EAT FOLIAGE!"
"Wait, wheres my purse? Oh, here it is, it was around my neck."
"Go to Motel 6, they leave the light on for you."
"I hate when black people use slavery against us. It's like the japanese holding a grudge for the nuclear bomb."
"Everybody wants to be Brooke Peterson. Even I want to be Brooke Peterson!!"
"Doctah James Rominelli. Breasssssst augmentations."
"Wow. It's like baking the cake with the stripper still in it."
"Who was that muppet? That hook nosed son of a bitch?!"
"Who's pants are those!?"
"Colin's...."
"Why??"
"I dunno, he just handed them to me and left!"
"What are you going to college to become?"
"Uhm... a Cheetah Girl."
"How many years of undergrad is that?"
*looking at a knife in a bow tie*
"Wow, that knife looks SHARP. GET IT?!"
HAHAHAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
"Gary, you're really pretty. Im dead serious, if you wore a little eyeliner, you'd be beautiful."
"You look like a lion. Really."
"Fuck cops! Pissing off the system, one cop at a time!"
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. You have crossed the line!"
"Everyone loves a moose. They just don't know it."
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
"LET ME CLEAN YOUR EARS!"
"Hey! It's Hannah Montana pissing in my drink!!"
"I am Captain Coors!! King of the Carpet Ship!!!!"
"I want my FUCKING Dunkaroos!!"
"NO, NO, I wanna be Dora the Explorer. Guys, stop snickering, I'm not fucking kidding you! I'm gonna change my name to Dora and explore shit! COME EXPLORE SHIT WITH ME!!"
"Let's go on a venture. Ages 14-20!!! It's sponsored by the goddamn BOY SCOUTS! How kick ASS is that!?"
"You know what would be funny? Actually, nevermind."
"No, now you need to tell me!"
"But... I realized it wouldn't be very funny at all..."
"What was it?"
"I was gonna say Wouldn't it be funny if one of my teachers tried to sleep with me... but then i realized that wasnt funny at all."
"You're right. That wasnt funny. Not even a little."
"Lemonade on a spoon is a popsicle, right?"
"Oh, you son of a bitch!! GO EAT FOLIAGE!"
"Wait, wheres my purse? Oh, here it is, it was around my neck."
"Go to Motel 6, they leave the light on for you."
"I hate when black people use slavery against us. It's like the japanese holding a grudge for the nuclear bomb."
"Everybody wants to be Brooke Peterson. Even I want to be Brooke Peterson!!"
"Doctah James Rominelli. Breasssssst augmentations."
"Wow. It's like baking the cake with the stripper still in it."
"Who was that muppet? That hook nosed son of a bitch?!"
"Who's pants are those!?"
"Colin's...."
"Why??"
"I dunno, he just handed them to me and left!"
"What are you going to college to become?"
"Uhm... a Cheetah Girl."
"How many years of undergrad is that?"
*looking at a knife in a bow tie*
"Wow, that knife looks SHARP. GET IT?!"
HAHAHAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
"Gary, you're really pretty. Im dead serious, if you wore a little eyeliner, you'd be beautiful."
"You look like a lion. Really."
"Fuck cops! Pissing off the system, one cop at a time!"
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. You have crossed the line!"
"Everyone loves a moose. They just don't know it."
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
"LET ME CLEAN YOUR EARS!"
"Hey! It's Hannah Montana pissing in my drink!!"
"I am Captain Coors!! King of the Carpet Ship!!!!"
Monday, October 5, 2009
Chris Pwns
We were in Maine and my mom was shopping and she was in the store for a reeeeeally long time so Chris went in and said in a special needs voice "Maaaaaaaaa. Why'd you leave me in the car? it's HOT out there..." to "embarrass" her out of the store.
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