Friends Quotes

Chandler: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!

Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and WON!
Chandler: Ross came fourth and cried!

Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.

Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!

Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages. They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games.
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No.
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents.

Mike Hanigan: You're not gonna try and make me join a cult are you?
Ross: No...
Mike Hanigan: Oh okay. You just have that look.
Ross: Damn SuperCuts!

Phoebe: We can be guys. Come on, let us be guys.
Chandler: You don't want to be guys, you'd be all hairy and you wouldn't live as long.

Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Ross: [glum] My wife's a lesbian.
Joey: Cool.
Chandler: Ross, this is Joey. Joey, Ross.

Joey: Hey, I got something for you.
Chandler: What's this?
Joey: Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told you but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night.

Ross: First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.

Ross: I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.
Rachel: I'm sorry your wife is gay.